Just have a sudden feeling to come back here to visit my old blog. Chances are nobody reads it anymore, just like mum always say 三分钟热度. But oh wells, just gonna blabber some stuff since there's no one to talk to.

Holidays are a really good time to do some proper thinking, about life, what you have, what you don't and what you want to do about it. I've been doing a lot of thinking. Including certain matters that are really troublesome. But I have a really bad feeling i'm wasting one of my last few holidays again. Not doing much, not going out much. Too much inertia to do things and make myself feel like i've done a lot during the holidays, but holidays are like that isn't it, doing nothing. Guess i'll have to start to plan a few things, especially with my family and whatever few friends are around now.

alf, dan, ze, gloree and cy are all busy/away. they are pretty much the main people i want to meet, at least i've seen gloree at her new place. hope the rest are doing fine. Just feel like maybe being overseas for so long, i might have been forgotten by many people already. People who go to different unis, different countries, and they meet people, and make friends, do different things, so it pretty normal to forget i guess. there are people that i used to keep in touch who are fading away, and i'm really tired of always making the effort to ask people out first, driving to pick people up and back and then home, which is now so far from everywhere else. so i guess my lack of effort explains why i'm not meeting much people this time round. I feel kind of empty, it undermines many of my friendships with people. there are also people that i used to know and cherish a lot, primary school friends like BY and KH, already made the effort to contact them and all, but i guess we all just have our own lives already? Maybe wanting a real friend while in primary school is too much to ask for? oh wells, but memories i will keep and won't forget, no matter if i'm forgotten. and i guess the situation gets trickier with female friends, once they get attached, they feel so distant and any effort to try to contact them seems almost intrusive, requiring great caution and restraint. how sucky is that. No longer know how to keep friends already, always thought that at least there were this few, but i guess that list is also slowly diminishing.

rambleramble