Thursday, October 02, 2008
Sis vis pacem, para bellum : If you desire peace, prepare for war.
Sis vis vitam, para mortem : If you would endure life, be prepared for death
I don't know if this happens to all of you out there, but i have been pondering over the word death since young. I have been thinking about how is it like, and what comes after death. I can say that it is something always at the back of my mind. I looked at the digital clock on the train last night, i asked myself how much of the years will i get to see, 2068 maybe? my parents probably and highly likely wouldn't be there then. How much of this world will i get to see, how much can i do for this world, how much can i accomplish in my life before it ends.
For my wisdom teeth extraction, i opted for general anesthesia. I wanted to experience the feeling of not feeling anything, whether it would be like that when we leave this world. What i could remember about it was everytime i blinked when the meds entered me, the surgical lamp multiplied like cells, one, two, four, eight, i was gone, i couldn't do anything to myself, couldn't even summon myself to think. and i was just gone, but at the very least, i knew i was there, just gone for a while. When we do die some day, will our souls leave our body and look upon our own empty shell? Or will we just be gone, with nothing left on this world anymore.
From the book Final Exam, it invoke more thoughts about death in me. And to quote it: 'we become doctors because our ability to cure gives us power over the death of which we are so afraid of'. Is this the reason why i am subconsciously interested in this field? 'attracted to medicine in part because of our own particular anxieties, we may be a self-selected lot who eagerly suppressed these fears as we adopt a professional ethos that embraces denial.'
Perhaps there would be afterlife as believed by buddhists in the form of reincarnation, or perhaps there would be afterlife as believed by christians in the form of joining the Lord in heaven. Which is true, only Jesus would know as he has came back from the dead. No one will ever know what death is like until they are actually dead. And it is an experience dear to each individual themselves. It may be the end of things, or may be the beginning of a new phase. But 'death, more than life would become the constant in our lives'. We must reconcile with death, knowing that it is inevitable. Only when we accept how fragile our life is can we appreciate its value and significance. Because all deaths, no matter how late, is equidistant from immortality.
Preparing for death may be the most difficult exam of all, but it is the one that will finally, free us to live. (regardless of whose death is it and regardless of what faith you pledge yourself to)
stalin rules
12:00 PM
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