Saturday, March 25, 2006
haiz, sort of expected i would be back to blog about related stuff again. yar, biomed quiz, at last a conclusion, i didn't get in. But oh wells, seems like i am always left out from all the fun, hope the finaly team will do the school proud thrash rjc!
hmm, i am kindda numb le, through this two years, i had great dreams, and i always tell myself that i must, no matter what, achieve them. I always thought i had the capability to perhaps be good at something. But i think, all talk and no action, that's just me. Might as well, spend all the time i have left to achieve good A level results. I really must learn to stand up after every fall, even though every fall comes just so near each other. I should be a pro by now, my sad jc life. Some may think that i am just wasting my time to get into all this stuff and get kicked out and stuff. Some may even think i am sort of desperate to get something. But i truly lurve what i do, just that i am not up to it? And have u not realised or understood the stubborn character of a die hard russian? May be success will come to me in another form, in another time of my life, in another part of the world. I really do hope i will be successful, and when i do have a good life, i want to give my children the best, groom them, in every way possible, develop their potentials, so that they will not be like me. A little of failure is good, but too much is detrimental, it can really shake morale a hell lot, i wonder how i got past these two years.
Perhaps i grew up in an environment where i always thought i could win, maybe i didn't have anyone to look up to in my family, none of them went to jc, and i am still trying to source for an inspiration. I don't always get to do things i like. I am not exam oriented, i am not intelligent. Even if i have tonnes of passion and enthusiasm and commitment, i pour everything everywere, without the grades u can never really make it. This is the screwed up part of our system, where grades MATTERS, nothing else really does, trust me on this. Grades are your passports to a good education, good job, good life, good future.
I love Jacob de Haan's songs, they are so beautiful, really hope can play one of them for the last concert of my life probably. They always bring out what i am thinking, every piece has something different to offer but always the same meaning. To look out of what has passed and move on to a brighter future. That something good will always happen after all the bad luck. That every cloud has a silver lining. I am still keeping the faith, that my turn for success will come. I have fallen, but i ain't broken, i will fight, still just as i would in the past. One dae, those who have overlooked me or looked down on me shall understand what i have been trying to bring across, that sheer determination can actually bring you to somewhere.
Let's hope i will hold true to my word and that something fruitful will happen. During these two years i always felt that hard work is not equals to results. Maybe i will unprove myself, maybe, perhaps, someday, i will...
If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying, "Here comes number seventy-one
Richard M. DeVos
stalin rules
5:55 PM
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