Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Okies, now blogging while i listen to lord of the rings sound track! Super kewl, totally awesome.I lurve the horns, their tone super zhai.i suddenly decided to stop doing work, and put aside a bit of tiem for myself to think.First thing is that i dun think i will ever get into ani science research programme, unless its in chinese!!! B3 for english, no chance for anithing, i feel so crippled, like a person amputated off all four limbs, i cannot even crawl, i can onli cry and shout, while, i cannot join back my limbs, there is nothing i can do, but onli to hope that this time i might be able to have some luck.Reality, reality, reality.But what i actaully have been thinking was my niche, what i want to do in future.
1)My ideal future(realistic=):i want to be a chemical engineer that works for Shell, and i would want to be a loyal and hardworking member, and earn my promotions and gain my ranks up this corporate ladder. I want to start from a small fry till i get a decent post up there in the hierachy. i want to have two kids, a daughter and a son. i want to drive my kids to school every morning, prefably to chinese high and nanyang girls. I want to earn sufficiently for a good life. i want my parents to live with me, i want the best for them. Mahjong sessions with my old friends during the weekends.
2)The musical path: i want to be a professional trumpet player. i want to get my doctorate and phd's in music. i want to be part of an orchestra, realistically, Singapore Symphony Orchestra, dreamingly, Tokio Kosei Winds Orchestra. I want a musician wife. i want to learn how to plae the piano and the violin. i want to bring my trumpet and go down to Clarke Quay during weekends and perform from bar to bar to pub to pub. i want to plae jazz. i want to be a tutor for my school band.
3)The less lighted path: i want a career of scientific research. i want to be a biochemist, virologist. i want to research and research and reaseach. i want to go round the world doing research with different people in different institutions. i want to give talks to students and inspire them. i want to make a groundbraking discovery. i want to zhao fu ren qun.
Either wae, i hafta work hard. but i think i will still pursue a life where i do meaningful stuff, things that maybe i have not been given but that i want to give to my wife, my children and my parents. i want to be a filial son, a good husband, a great father and a loyal and hardworking employee. i dun wish for fame but only to make my life meaningful and colourful. reincarnations, do u believe in it? i believe in it though. but we wouldn't know, if i shall come again to this world as a different self , different person, i would not noe. i am who i am, and i onli live once, i want to live my life to the greatest, the best, the most colorful, the most vibrant, the most meaningful. And when my body finally saes that its time to leave this world, and i shall go at ease, bringing with me only the most wonderful experience and memories of my entire live. Life and death are only two of the many words in the dictionary, it is inevitable. just as u can experience the birth of a new life, u haf to experience death, this is nature.
Mourn not for those who have passed, but cherish you shall for those who stand beside you.
stalin rules
10:54 PM
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