Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Just have a sudden feeling to come back here to visit my old blog. Chances are nobody reads it anymore, just like mum always say 三分钟热度. But oh wells, just gonna blabber some stuff since there's no one to talk to. Holidays are a really good time to do some proper thinking, about life, what you have, what you don't and what you want to do about it. I've been doing a lot of thinking. Including certain matters that are really troublesome. But I have a really bad feeling i'm wasting one of my last few holidays again. Not doing much, not going out much. Too much inertia to do things and make myself feel like i've done a lot during the holidays, but holidays are like that isn't it, doing nothing. Guess i'll have to start to plan a few things, especially with my family and whatever few friends are around now.
alf, dan, ze, gloree and cy are all busy/away. they are pretty much the main people i want to meet, at least i've seen gloree at her new place. hope the rest are doing fine. Just feel like maybe being overseas for so long, i might have been forgotten by many people already. People who go to different unis, different countries, and they meet people, and make friends, do different things, so it pretty normal to forget i guess. there are people that i used to keep in touch who are fading away, and i'm really tired of always making the effort to ask people out first, driving to pick people up and back and then home, which is now so far from everywhere else. so i guess my lack of effort explains why i'm not meeting much people this time round. I feel kind of empty, it undermines many of my friendships with people. there are also people that i used to know and cherish a lot, primary school friends like BY and KH, already made the effort to contact them and all, but i guess we all just have our own lives already? Maybe wanting a real friend while in primary school is too much to ask for? oh wells, but memories i will keep and won't forget, no matter if i'm forgotten. and i guess the situation gets trickier with female friends, once they get attached, they feel so distant and any effort to try to contact them seems almost intrusive, requiring great caution and restraint. how sucky is that. No longer know how to keep friends already, always thought that at least there were this few, but i guess that list is also slowly diminishing. rambleramble
stalin rules
10:57 PM
-------------------------
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Been a long time since i last blogged, too busy? or just plain lazy, i think more lazy. So now i am back home in sunny singapore sweating, note alliteration. so yeah, good feeling to be home but dun really feel that anything has changed, the construction site down my house is still under construction, the nike store i go to still hangs out that pair of berms that i like but i can't fit into. Maybe the mrt changed a bit, some places changed a bit, new shopping centres that i haven't explored and the IR is really tall now.
But not what i really want to write about is emo nemo stuff again. after watching that particular episode of gundam. Meaning of life is to know that life exists. Too simple? I guess the meaning of life can only be articulated when u have finished your whole experience of life, which itself includes death. death is part of living, except its the end of being alive. and after that, u never can really articulate anything unless you are like a super energy source spirit thing that can appear in people's dreams. Maybe the meaning of life is what we bring away with us from this material existential world. Will there be anyone who has no meaning in life? people who wake up everyday wondering why they are alive. why do they exist. i know of some. but then, if there is no meaning in life, wouldn't everyone be dead, wouldn't everyone not even exist?
Some believe in their religion and how life started and begin and ends. but then some believes in the evolutionary theory. that by chance, by mere chance, everything just happened and there was life. if u try to look at the world, how beautiful it is. let's say the eiffel tower or the great wall of china, u think of its meaning, why it was built, its purpose. and then u think about the people who built it, the people who masterminded it. u think of the human, the normal person. of the brain, the muscle, the organs, the senses, the intelligence, breathing, heart pumping. nerve impulses, electrical impulses from brain to heart, brain to body. u think of arteries carrying blood, nerves carrying electrical impulses via ions. u think of the chemical basis of everything, the complicated phosholipid bilayer, the glycolipids, the acids and bases, the molecules, the atoms, and within the atoms, there are the neutrons, the electrons, the protons, and within the protons and neutrons there are quarks and different kinds of quarks. and the brilliance of quantum physics can tell u there's more, there are of cos millions of steps i missed through this process. but if, if there is this chance, that all these, read through the last few lines and then again, if ALL OF THOSE occured by chance, we are sure damn lucky to be alive.
stalin rules
11:32 PM
-------------------------
Friday, May 22, 2009
Lag again, been too lazy to blog, perhaps cos of case commentary and all the piling up work. Looking forward to going home! I miss everyone and everything! Maybe not the weather, but yeah, everything else.
Just had a sociology tut yesterday about HIV patients and there was this stakeholder who came to talk to us commented about something negative of our country. Well, medical wise, you would think that singapore is far way advanced then most countries with all the high tech stuff, high funding, high R&D, good management and everything, but morally and ethically, we may be still very backward. This occurred sometime in 1990s when talk of HIV was still taboo. He contracted HIV in Thailand, and was recommended by a friend to come to Singapore for treatment. When the doctor had his first meeting with him, he browsed through the medical records and saw the HIV status as positive. The doctor showed blatantly that he was shocked, jumped back and exclaimed 'i cannot treat you, you are HIV positive'. Maybe this was a thing in a pass, but maybe its still present. It kindda sucks when people are saying bad things about your country, just weird cause we were educated that Singapore is advanced and all and its just so appalling to know something like this has happened.
A lot is demanded from doctors these days, a lot, especially when people start to frown upon paternalism and patients become more aware of their rights. Doctors practise in fear of litigation. And patients expects so much from doctors. Infinite empathy, infinite time, infinite patience. Doctors cannot give all these, and its all about balances. Balance between paternalistic and patient centred treatment, balance between listening more and keeping with the allotted time. Doctors need to be almost superhuman to juggle all these. However, there is one thing doctors can always give, infinite love. And as long as we practise with infinite love, for our patients, for ourselves, for our colleagues and our families, we will become good doctors eventually.
stalin rules
6:30 AM
-------------------------
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Ok, finally going to update again, its been so long!! Its like easter break now, so i decided to not mug for the rest of the day and perhaps blog, hahas
Yesterday there was this mock exam thing. haven't been in exams for a long time and the format and all were so unfamiliar.i got like 31/37 and was kind of disappointed, a lot of careless mistakes and i expected more! grr... mugmugmug. oh, i guess other than being reputed as the lame person i seem to also have attained a mugger image, hahas, go me, but i dun really mug a lot, but yeah, trying to shed that image anyway and i made my first time my skipping my first lecture, courtesy of timteo and sasha! bad influence! to think that one lecture could cost me like 200 dollars, but oh well, this will not happen in year 2 onwards! okae, the rest are just some updates and pictures of previous stuff!
like obviously, its a water festival sister! sibling discount =D  yarra river me and my thai friend, tommy!
 Moombe waterfest
   Hwachu!!
 and there was CIHAN's 21st =D
 and there was JEM's 21st =D
 trying to make a rainbow formation 04/05/06S78 =D (this was during the HIV gathering - Hwachongians in Victoria)
 HwaChong Monash!  with the biomed champ himself! yeap, and that's the updates i have, still got random outings here and there i never post, will try to be more diligent with blogging when i am consistent with my work. everything's fine here, just miss home HEAPS and yeah, look forward to june hols already. will be back with more from road trip =D cheers bernardo
stalin rules
7:59 PM
-------------------------
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Hey everyone!Been a long time since i last blogged, i probably should, got tonnes of stuff to write about, maybe missed a lot liao. But i guess i shall blog more about how's life over here down under first, sort of can tell everyone i am safe and fine, and still alive also. Hahas. My room is quite spacious, i am actually happy when i saw the room. good enough for it to be comfortable lar, but nothing beats my own room of course. slowly getting all my stuff like utensils, kettle, pillow and groceries. Oh and of everything you would expect me to buy, i have not YET bought a fan. Its quite livable here for me. I find it very comfortable, espcially as we are closer to winter day by day. I can finally enjoy wearing a jacket and walking around. Hahas. Haven't got all my pictures up on my walls yet, but i got some posters which i hope i can show u from pictures in a while.    Well, now i am like almost 3 weeks into life here le, getting the hang of public transport here, and where are the places to get what. A lot of asian stores here somewhere, sell really good stuff like yeo's packet drinks, simple pleasures of life. But then i guess the only thing still not really settled is meals. Just plain lazy to cook lar, or should i say, experiment how to cook. So sometimes when my friends go and cook together, i will join them and offer to prepare ingredients, which is about the only thing my mum taught me, practically and not theoretically. but yeah, still fine, aim to keep fit is still there, just that sometimes it gets really cold for you to even run. The aussies here are really very friendly, but they have a habit of drinking a lot, if its water they would be damn healthy, you can find like hall function rooms reeking of alcohol, being the good boy i am, i have never drank with them or joined those wild and raving parties. But they are really intelligent people, its like, everyone around me is smart, makes me feel like unsure of my abilities now. They are also very vocal during lessons, and for singaporeans who are used to spoonfeeding, we take quite a while to warm up.
starting to have homework, and i just feel happy to be mugging again finally, consistency this time! no more procrastinating. But yeah, kind of weird to hold a pen and sit down and write stuff, just not used to it, and i can hear my brain creaking so loud due to its lack of use. my parents flew here a few days after i arrived, and we toured the city and did shopping, primarily also to show them where i stay. Went to the great ocean road with dad, really fun, especially the twelve apostles and the helicopter ride!    There's visit to the city and queen vic market! totally awesome, the food and the atmosphere! must come down visit if u're in melb. went to luna park, an amusement park near st kilda's. really fun too, but i didn't have the guts to like take the super exhilarating rides. i just stucked with my favourite, bumper cars! haven't played it for like ages, since the genting highland days. totally awesome.       oh there was transition camp too, very overwhelming experience for me, cos they introduced us to all the lecture, tutorial and exam formats, really very overwhelming, kept me emo-ing for a while. its really super different, or strangely unfamiliar already. totally lost the feeling of having to be kept on my toes constantly. a lot of self/independent learning. they just throw u there and u have to find your way. but it was good fun, especially the team building games and the SWING! if i get the video i will post it soon, but beware, got vulgarities i think! hahas, oops, but its damn fun, power of gravity! woohoos, dun mind doing it again, really got to try it! there was the penguin island trip, the penguins are duper cute, and they look so stupidly cute when they clamber up ashore, and stumbling and turning back or walking in the wrong direction. weather = best. so yeah, the highlights for the past few weeks, will try to blog more, should be able to lar. oh, and for weixuan, U NEVER INVITE ME! even though i am here and u know i cannot go do you know what is formality, i am undeniably still the supreme leader leh!! ying, give him some punishments! hahas, just joking, just wish u again here, HAPPY 21st WEIXUAN, stop playing with swords and toy guns=D get a girlfriend soon and have fun with uni life! really quite sad i will be missing out on everyone's 21st, and mine too=/ hopefully i will be able to fly home on my birthday, if can ah, my best present liao, miss nothing more than my home=( take care mate, ta.
stalin rules
6:00 AM
-------------------------
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Hellos, took quite a while to do a new year resolution post, plus just shun bian update.
New Year just came too fast, i want to be stuck in like last year and not move on, i don't want to leave!!! but i guess i have to, think i slacken a lot already, so a bit not confident if i can start my gears and engines in my very rusted and malnourished brain. can any doctor out there do a bypass for my brain, link like from aortic arch str8 to my brain artery, circle of willis? hahas, talk rubbish.
Of course, everyone has resolutions, so i tried to come up with some in the past few days!
1. Always remember the importance of humility. Always
2. Put family as my first priority more often.
3. Stop wasting money on you know what.
4. Be a good friend to others regardless how others reciprocate.
5. Volunteer on a more regular basis!
6. Keep fit and eat healthy!
7. Study hard, real hard, extremely hard!
8. To be thrifty.
9. Not to sleep during class.
10. Drink more water.
11. Discipline.
12. Complete and achieve my resolutions!
Really hope to see all my good friends once through before i fly, need a lot of planning sia. Hope i will integrate and settle down well when i go over to melbourne. A great lesson of independence awaits. Hope i will do well in my academics too, if not really gu fu a lot of people around me!
past week was quite alright, went to buy textbooks and crash med lecture! hahas, too bad didn't get to seat beside gloree, if not can semi-fufil our wishes in jc le. hope daniel and zeying get along well together, not in any weird wrong sense, but yeah, both my best friends, cannot quarrel! so fun to tease them though. Alfred, totally miss u to bits lar, please please be free, i want to go your house soon! A lot of other familiar faces all around too, can't help but to think about a whole bunch of if only questions. well, i guess its history already, i have taken another path and i should stick to it without looking back.
Went to kk for volunteering last wednesday and yesterday too. always a lot of fun learning new stuff from weslie. went to watch red cliff 2 with peanuts, it was really good, the war depicted until very zhai, and yeah, xiao qiao is so chio can, i like melt into my chair everytime she appears. After that, everyone just chiong for last bus.
Next day, peanuts again, for operation homeworks, some of my classmates and monash peeps came! Thanks guys! Didn't join them, a bit guilty, but then i really hope it was a good experience for them. After that went to bugis and chill, plus ARCADE! Haven't arcaded for a long time, so it was quite fun, my sniping skills a bit chui already, must practise more!
Yesterday, after volunteering went out with jin chieh and weslie again, hahas, its like again again. went to eat jiao zi, very nice ones too, then spend a bit of time helping jin chieh to mug his work, seems like my maths also rusty le. hope he gets his work done.
So that's all so far. update soon again!
stalin rules
12:34 PM
-------------------------
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
ok, very well delayed post - WARNING! photo overload
presenting to you...
a HABITAT FOR HUMANITY production...
a Youth Expedition Project...
HFH-YEP Guangzhou Trip! Caowu village!
at the airport!
pictures with sponsors
boarding
hongkong airport - good english, bad chinese result of British Colonialism?
nice picture of the link bridge from hk to guangzhou
nice sunset
at the hotel, notice how wrapped up everyone is and me! some people just don't know how to enjoy cold temperatures!
never thought gravel was so hard to spade up
hard at work k, anything that makes me sweat at that temp is tough
peanut farmers of Caowu!
typical mudbrick houses
new house we are building! staircase  our worksite tonnes of bricks that weighs a tonne our favourite da shu (uncle) at work i'm working hard too k!  see how much i dug! (ok lar, not me alone=p) kids! human chain in action more bricks! and taking pictures as an excuse to slack!  lunch! dinner at dafuhao! cost like 60 bucks sing for 17 person dinner with like 14 dishes! my buddie! and his spastic (unfortunate) face
 morning warmup plus massage!  chat with the villagers  our balloon master weslie working magic  taddaahhh! jealouss?? such a heartbreaker lor! our favourite da shu!  baby dog! typical work day  pretty girl number 1 pretty girl number 2  pretty girl number 3 pretty in pink!!! our photo for da shu! with all the kids in the village! when there's me around, there has to be a shot like this, not bad eh our trench 35000 bricks and maybe 50 meters of trench. see how long is it and deep and wide and nicely shaped dug with love and sweat?!! team leader jocelyn and village leader! certificates! group shot classroom lining up! that's me and chloe teaching english, notice jacket on = very very super damn freaking cold eagle catch chicks! i like this shot, boon pin looks like he has attained inner peace and enlightenment BOO! my favourite kid! kids are just so lovely group shot in school fellow ADA mate at some cultural place at the orange plantation - the girls the HUNKS =p eat till you drop oranges oh, this is a nice shot chloe took, those are recruits, like our singapore BMT recruits going to tekong lidat. the red round thing they have in front of them is a red flower ball, the kind opening ceremony they cut kind. u see, it is actually a glamourous thing to join the army in china lor and you get this kind of welcome, compared to our little island one - don't look back to what you have left behind, look forward to what awaits before you! rubbish! pui!
 oh, i couldn't edit this one so u need to flip your head to see, chinese army blazer! i bought it k, too bad didn't find matching pants and cap  our nice little bus
stalin rules
8:18 PM
-------------------------
|
there was the great eat out at yingthai and fredos! heavenly
